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Where Father Figures, Figure in the Family

Photo Credit: Creative Commons - Jigisha

Photo Credit: Creative Commons – Jigisha

Here’s a great guest post from a blogging buddy of mine Jared Latigo.

Jared is a writer, speaker and passion guy. His vision in life is to have more people love their work than ones that hate it.

Be sure to check out his blog at JaredLatigo.com or follow him on Twitter @JaredLatigo. Here’s his post:

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I’m on a mission in this life to figure out exactly where I “fit.”

Maybe you are too? Good. We’ll get along just fine then.

But often I get caught up thinking where I fit with my career or in with friends and forget that I need to focus more on where I fit with my family.

May we explore a bit?

This matters because it shows us what our culture thinks of father figures and where they fit in society. It shows and teaches our families things that aren’t necessarily true.

The father fits at the head of the home and along with that comes mutual respect and trust from the top down.

Fathers On Television

I have to admit that I don’t watch much TV. In my past I did, but it’s just not something we make much time for around our house.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t take notice when it’s on everywhere I go. Friends and family, restaurants, car washes and you name it, there’s probably a TV to be found.

And I don’t have a problem with it except for the way it portrays fathers in almost every single show. Think of many of the popular ones such as The Simpsons (and other cartoon ones), King of Queens, Two and A Half Men…and the list goes on.

They all portray the father as dumb, disconnected from the family and a neutral influence at best.

But this isn’t the way it should be.

“Men” In Music

If you think TV is bad, try listening to the way some “men” portray what a real man should be like.

There’s songs out there that would make me embarrassed to listen to them on my own time, let alone allow my family children to hear them.

They glorify things that are downright immoral and wrong even by most of the world’s standards. Honestly, I don’t listen to them myself, not anymore anyway. There was a time when it seemed really cool though.

But now, as a father, it’s anything but that. And that’s not the way it should be either.

Now, About That Towel

Mainstream media makes it clear where they think fathers fit in their families. But there is a better place for us. There is a place at the head of the household that yearns for the father to take over and fulfill his purpose.

The one takeaway that we all need to put into action is this.

The father is a servant. We are to serve our families to the point of no return.

But that’s far easier said than done. I fail at this all the time and often joke with my wife about “Where’s the towel for my arm?”

But I love it. And I wouldn’t give it up for anything. Sacrificial love is where the real man stands. It’s where the real man, the real father, fits in perfectly. And the family will follow his example.

A friend once told me something that stuck with me. He’s a wise man who’s been through a lot and yet he stands firm in his beliefs. So I will leave you with this to ponder on and hopefully put into action.

“There are many things a mother can provide for her children. There are many things she can do that the father simply cannot. But the one thing the father can provide, without question, is character.” – Jim Cloud

Question: Did you have a positive father figure in your life and what was the impact of that relationship?

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Comments

  1. Tor, I always love seeing your writing, but this was an awesome guest post. Jared, this is so true. I wish we could rid the negative stigma society puts on fathers. I walked into Target the other day with a friend of mine who is proudly expecting, she was looking for a “World’s Greatest Dad” apparel or something that said the phrase to buy for her husband. Amongst all of the “I love my Mommy,” “World’s Best Mom” and “My Mommy loves me” garbage, was no piece of clothing recognizing a father figure. I thought this was ridiculous. It’s almost like society has conformed to think men are absent and that we live in a world full of single mothers. I will share this post because I think it provides great awareness to an issue of importance that most would not recognize. Nice work!

    • Thanks Danielle! Glad to hear it touched you. I feel there is a trend back the other way with younger dads like myself wanting to be involved with our families. While Hollywood has it’s version, those people I hang around the most see it very differently. Time will tell if we’re shifting back but I’m not the only person seeing that change. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!

    • Danielle, you’re very kind – so when can I expect to get a guest post submission from you ;-)

  2. I did not have a positive father in my life due to my parents life choices. This left me w/o my dad or any trace of him for 7 yrs.

    At times that has created significant difficulties for me, especially when trying to understand God as a father. Fortunately, I did have men that I looked up to that included my grandfather, my uncle, & my brother. Later, I became a believer and men of the congregation where I attended stepped up.

    My brother and I resolved to be men of faith and character. To be amazing husbands and fathers. Regardless of your experience with your dad, you can be the type of dad you want, and the type you were created to be.

    Thanks for sharing your platform Tor, and thanks Jared for articulating your points.

    • DS, I appreciate you sharing your experience and applaud your decision to not let your earthly father’s absence completing define who you are. Thanks for the inspiration!

    • Thanks for sharing your story. I know you don’t stand alone in that. I had a very involved dad but no father figure who looked up to God. That is something I’m having to learn as I grow older. Of course, we all have plenty to learn. Thanks again for reading!

  3. This was a great post. I hope that the dads and moms are reading and thinking. There really is an irreplaceable role for dads, and sometimes moms don’t get that. As much as mom does and teaches, I think that dads do teach character and roles. Without dad, our question of “what does it mean to be a man/woman? is left half unanswered. I am amazed at what my husband does for my family, and I’m sure your wives are thankful for you guys, Jared and Tor, as well. Keep up the good work, your kids (and wives) need you!

  4. You hit the nail on the head with this one Jared. I agree with you that television can be one of the most toxic things to create disrespect between children and their parents because of the terrible examples shown. I appreciate you standing up for the real values that a man can represent.

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