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The Church of the Future

Photo Credit: Creative Commons – Jubilant_Quackenbush

Today’s guest post comes courtesy of a very witty writing buddy, Bryan Logan. Check out his blog HERE and his entertaining post below.

If you’d like to submit a guest post for The Daily ReTORt you can see the guidelines HERE.

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If you traveled back in time and told your grandparents what the churches of today are like, they wouldn’t have believed you.

More importantly, you could probably use time travel to do more important things, but that’s a different post.

So today, we’re going to look ahead to the future and see if we can predict what certain aspects of the church of tomorrow might look like.

Coffee – God’s Nectar

At least that’s how it’s described at my church. Some churches have a small pot sitting out and a stack of cups next to it.  Other churches offer a choice between decaf and regular. Larger churches have their own coffee shop where you can have your choice of many different drinks.

The prediction of church coffee future: A franchised coffee shop in the church.

What I hope never happens: Two Starbucks on the same church campus.

Parking – a Necessary Evil

You have to get to church somehow, and most people drive.  This causes a need for parking.  There’s the humble lot.  Go ahead and pick a spot.  If it’s empty, it’s yours.  There’s some lots with volunteer guides directing traffic.  I know that spot looks open, but trust them, they know what’s best for the church body.  And there’s that small minority of churches that have parking garages.

Prediction of church parking future: A smartphone app to tell you which garage has room.

What I hope never happens: Valet parking.

Church Staff – Serving With a Smile

Some churches are run solely by the pastors.  Other churches have a secretary and other staff, like custodial workers.  The larger churches will even have pastors that are dedicated to a certain group of people.

Predictions of Church staff future: Well, someone needs to manage the Starbucks and write the smartphone apps.

What I hope never happens: Someone dedicated to church Human Resources

What I really hope never happens: A pastor dedicated to pastors.

Small Groups – (or is it a Life Group???)

It’s where you do life.  That should be the tagline.  Some churches are small enough that they’re a small group by themselves.  In other churches, the small groups form naturally.  When you’re slightly larger, the small groups might be assigned.

Prediction of small group future: A survey you fill out to put you in the most compatible small group.  Like eHarmony for small groups.

What I hope never happens: Church holds an annual small group draft.

Eating – Come Let Us Season Together

The great facilitator of fellowship – food.  Whether it’s out at a restaurant after dinner, the church potluck, or a meal prepared by volunteers, you can sit down and chat with people about how life is going.

Prediction of food fellowship future: A cafeteria where you can select your food.

What I hope never happens: You get one of those light up things when your table is ready.

Online Presence – Sanctified Social Media

Many churches today have websites.  If you don’t, you should get one.  They help new people to know what’s going on.  And even having a church Facebook page is helpful to connect with people.  Some pastors will have their own Twitter feeds.  So is there much more we can do?  Sure, there’s always plenty.

Prediction of web presence future: The church starts using Google+.

What I hope never happens: MySpace makes a comeback and the church has to design a MySpace layout for their page.

Question: What do you think might occur in the church in your lifetime?

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Comments

  1. Funny! Coffee-God’s Nectar. That’s good. I like to refer to it as “liquid manna from heaven” :)

  2. Ricky Anderson says:

    The small group draft should be its own post. Funny stuff, Bryan!

    • I’ll add it to the list of blog ideas. It might be on my own blog, so you’d probably want to subscribe there to see it. END_OF_SHAMELESS_SELF_PLUG

  3. I hate to disappoint you, but some churches already have valet parking, just like hospitals, and for the same reason. Older parishioners have trouble finding a parking space, or getting into/out of a space, and/or the distance is then too far for them to walk at the pace they can walk. It’s actually a great idea.

    • I think as long as it’s not a service required to be used, I’m still good. Although I will admit that research for this was a bit shaky. It consisted mostly of watching Alf on Hulu and playing Super Mario Bros. In retrospect, neither one of those things provided insight into the current church.

  4. I don’t mean to disturb your crystal ball- but it needs a new light bulb. Many of these already exist!!!!

  5. We’re starting small groups at our international church in a couple weeks. I’m calling the sign-up period “Rush Week.” That’s almost as bad as a draft.

  6. Martin Trench says:

    er … you just described our church (including some of the things “you hope never happen” – and people seem to like those things).

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