Today's guest post comes courtesy of a very witty writing buddy, Bryan Logan. Check out his blog HERE and his entertaining post below. If you'd like to submit a guest post for The Daily ReTORt you can see the guidelines HERE. ================== If you traveled back in time and told your grandparents what the churches of today are like, they wouldn't have believed you. More importantly, you could probably use time travel to do more important things, but that's a different post. So … [Read more...]
December 6, 2012 By 19 Comments
Open Letter to the Makers of Elf on the Shelf
To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for creating the Elf on the Shelf franchise of books, cookies, plush dolls, DVDs...etc. which enable parents such as my wife and me the privilege of paying $29.95 to deceive our children. The Story of the Elf As you well know, your fabricated story of the Elf asserts that he/she appears in the child's home between Thanksgiving and Christmas as a behavioral scout for Saint Nick, to keep an eagle eye on the children for the "naughty and nice" list. The … [Read more...]
November 23, 2012 By 4 Comments
Black Friday Blues
Periodically, I create these mini-videos that look at funny issues a married couple experience. This one (episode #11) deals with the annual ritual of spending money on the busiest shopping day of the year - Black Friday. The links to other episodes I've made about moments in married life follow the video below. Question: What's your Black Friday philosophy - economic Nirvana or avoid it like the Black Plague? Dinner Debate: Wedded Blisster Series - Part 10 Pet … [Read more...]
November 21, 2012 By 1 Comment
Thanksgiving Thoughts With Cleverbot
These conversations with Cleverbot are some of my most popular posts. This is re-post from last Thanksgiving. Several months ago I discovered Cleverbot, which is a web-based Artificial Intelligence (AI) application that supposedly has the ability to learn by conversing with humans via an instant messaging platform. While it’s a stretch to say that Cleverbot is actually intelligent, interacting with this particular "thinking" software can be mildly entertaining. Here’s the most … [Read more...]
November 11, 2012 By 3 Comments
The Joy of a Laughing Baby
There is something magical about a baby laughing - especially when it's your own. On Friday evening, we were sitting in the living room with our three kids ages 11 and 8 years along with our newborn of four months. Our boy was on my lap while I was twirling one of his toys in mid-air and he was laughing to beat the band. I tried to finagle my iPhone out and record some of his jovial sounds, the :60 seconds below is what I captured. I just wanted to share a few moments of this … [Read more...]
November 8, 2012 By 9 Comments
The $5.37 “Caption This” Photo Contest: Vol. 14
It's another installment of the lowest-cash-award-for-a-photo-caption-contest on the Internet, the $5.37 Caption This Contest! Thanks to everyone who entered the most recent iteration of the contest last week. The winner of last week's iteration was Melinda Todd with her geniusly pithy and funny caption below. Congratulations to the victor – who can message me at Facebook or on Twitter with an appropriate email address. That will allow me to send the incredibly confounding … [Read more...]
November 1, 2012 By 7 Comments
The $5.37 “Caption This” Contest: Vol. 13
It's another installment of the lowest-cash-award-for-a-photo-caption-contest on the Internet, the $5.37 Caption This Contest! Thanks to everyone who entered the most recent iteration of the contest last week. Regrettably, there were two laugh-out-loud standouts that I couldn't choose between. The deciding factor was when I saw the "Mayhem" Allstate Insurance commercial again this weekend which inspired Jamie Kocur's winning caption. Check out the "Mayhem" video HERE as a reminder … [Read more...]
October 25, 2012 By 12 Comments
The $5.37 “Caption This” Contest: Vol. 12
Welcome to another edition of the lowest-cash-award-for-a-photo-caption-contest on the Internet, the $5.37 Caption This Contest! Thanks to everyone who entered the most recent iteration of the contest two weeks ago. Once again the entries were over-the-top funny. But one entry stood out by "Bryan" with his genius, cultural-melding of Psy's Gangnam Style reference with Cinco de Mayo - check out his awesome caption below. Congratulations to the victor – who can message me … [Read more...]
October 19, 2012 By 6 Comments
The Dicey Game of Using Humor
Humor is risky - it's often an "all or nothing" roll of the dice. I respect people who are funny and want to be like those people who have the power to make me laugh. Regrettably, I'm the first to admit that I'm not naturally funny. Oh sure, I try to be - but my attempts are often strained and miss the mark. Sometimes a failed joke to a single person gets a "courtesy chuckle" because the other person is kind and gracious. However, that "graciousness" quickly dissipates in direct … [Read more...]
October 13, 2012 By 1 Comment
A Funny Parenting Rap (because it’s true)
One of the best things about family is the fact that it serves as a never-ending stream of laughs and funny material - as well as an instant audience for both parents and kids. The link below is to an entertaining rap about the joys, pitfalls and pratfalls of parenting. If you are a parent (or even had parents) there are some funky lyrics in this rap that should be able to relate to. Additionally, one of the things that's so appealing to me about this type of video is that the jokey … [Read more...]
