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Salvation – yup, there’s an app for that…

Logo for Bryan Logan's Eavesdropping Evangelism (E^2) app

Logo for Bryan Logan’s Eavesdropping Evangelism (E^2) app

Here’s a guest post from a funny writer that I’ve featured before. His name is Bryan Logan. Check out his blog HERE and his entertaining post below.

[EdiTOR's Note: When Bryan first submitted this post, I thought it was a cleverly "deceptive" spoof.

However, Bryan happens to conceptualize and write programming code for mobile applications. The idea he writes about below is actually a real, mobile application he developed.]

If you’d like to submit a guest post for The Daily ReTORt you can see the guidelines HERE.

====================

When I’m on the bus, there’s occasionally someone on there that likes to talk on their phone and doesn’t really care who can hear them.

I can’t help but fill in the other side of the conversation.

I figured other people did this as well.

It then occurred to me that this could be used as a form of evangelism.

The issue with other evangelism techniques is that they require you talk to people. However, some people are very introverted and it’s difficult for them to approach strangers – let alone share their faith.

The solution?

Eavesdropping Evangelism (E^2).

That’s right folks, no more worries about approaching people, asking them questions, and dealing with their answers that you may not be prepared for. How does the mobile app work?

  1. Install the E^2 app onto your smartphone (Beta version currently only available for Android phones) – if you don’t have a smartphone, E^2 is a good way to justify getting one.
  2. Browse the E^2 listings for a selection of evangelism scripts to follow – there are many scripts from “Intro to God” to “It’s Brimstone Time! “
  3. Download the scripts you want to use.
  4. Ride on public transportation and wait until there are people around you to eavesdrop on your conversation.
  5. Discreetly start the E^2 app, select the script, and hit “Go for Jesus“.
  6. Now put your phone away.

In 15 seconds, your phone will begin to ring. But don’t worry, it’s a fake ring from the E^2 app.

Next, you answer your ringing smartphone.

The recording coming through the phone is simply phrases that you’ll want to repeat, as if you’re carrying on an actual conversation with a live human.

The app will guide you through the process of leading those around you to Christ.

Here’s a sample, one-sided script – remember, the app is just feeding you the lines through your phone’s earpiece so only you hear them, allowing you to repeat them out loud.

Hello?

Yeah. I’m just heading home from work. What’s up?

Really?….That’s terrible. Tell me what happened.

I see. Tell me more details.

OK, OK, that’s probably telling me way too much at this point.

Yes, I know you’re devastated. But there is hope.

Of course I’ll tell you.

In the Bible, God assures us that he can help us through anything.

I’m glad that helps.

I’ll see you this weekend. Bye.

Or here’s another script if you’re trying to crack those “hard shells” of some of your fellow passengers.

Hello? [Note: in any script, feel free to customize your greeting  like "J-Man here" ]

Yeah, it should be a great game this weekend. I’m really hoping for (SPORTS TEAM) to win big.

I think (PLAYER ON TEAM) will help them through it.

You don’t think so? You’ve got to be kidding me.

Well, I know you’re worried about the game, but do you know what you can do with your worries?

No, that would be kind of weird. You can cast your worries.

Of course I’ll tell you who you can cast your worries upon. God.

I know this because it’s in the Bible. 1 Peter 5:7. I’ll read it to you since you don’t have a Bible handy. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Yes, God does care for you.

I know He cares for you. How could someone who doesn’t care give His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16)?

You can say the sinner’s prayer right now.

If you want to wait that’s fine. I’ll walk you through it tonight while we’re watching the game and eating pizza.
Goodbye.

At this point, you’re pretty much guaranteed the entire bus is going to be saved right along with you.

Question: What scripts would you write for E^2

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Comments

  1. This is awesome!

    • Thanks. If you have the opportunity to download the app, give it a try. It’s done with the best speech synthesis I had for free. Yup, robotic voices quoting Bible verses.

      • While I’m sure they’ll be critics who allege it’s a bit “deceptive” – it’s actually more like a street performance of the gospel.

        • I agree. it will also give people the feeling of how simple it is to break the ice and start a conversation after doing it a few times….to see that people really are curious out there, we just have to start the conversation.

  2. This is the best thing I’ve read all week. AMAZING, Bryan. Love it.

  3. Genius! Tor you know this is right up my alley. Thanks for hosting. I may have to spin off of this in my Jesus Junk category with some scripts. Nicely done Bryan. I can’t wait to go read your blog.

    How about a script explaining the Trinity? Of course that wouldn’t win too many to Christ but it would be entertaining.

  4. This is the greatest idea EVER! Question: Is there a setting to slow it down a bit, so that I have time to translate the lines I’m hearing into Spanish? I’m a little slow on the draw… ‘Course, I could practice at home, since it’s scripted, huh? I’m a regular on public transportation, where people stand all up in your space but no one speaks. Can’t wait to use this!

    • Even better would be to have the scripts in Spanish. Then you’re simply repeating whatever is said. So even if you don’t speak Spanish, you can reach out to them as long as you can repeat it.

      • I was going to suggest that, but thought you might get inundated with requests… “Do one in Chinese!” “Could you make one in Swahili?” “When will this come out in Redneck?” (That’s my native tongue.)

        • I’m actually contemplating allowing the app to read random MP3’s, so people could just record their own scripts and share. As for Redneck, this would probably be the script:

          You der?
          Yup, abba gonna git it.
          You comin’ over t’night?
          Yeah, derl be beef jerky.
          Derl also be salvation.
          No, Salvation. `Ternal life.
          ….

  5. Brilliant! How about scripts to direct at fellow Christians? You can now lecture the person sitting next to you because the person on the phone just so happens to have the same “issue” as they do :) So many possibilities with this app…

    • Do you have a particular issue in mind? But yes, being able to quote verses with ease also gives you that air of authority.

      • How about one you can “dial-up” when you’re stuck with that friend that wants to give you the low-down. You receive the call just in time to share some pertinent scriptures on gossiping.THAT would be handy! I can imagine the moment after you hang up…”Sorry ’bout that. You were saying?”

  6. what an interesting idea! Nice work!

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