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You are here: Home / Faith / Why Parents Matter – a Guest Post
July 3, 2012 By 24 Comments

Why Parents Matter – a Guest Post

Photo Credit: Creative Commons – whiskeygonebad

Parents have a big influence on us, no matter how long we are lucky enough to have them in our lives.

I lost my Dad to cancer when I was only 14.

Over the years, many people have said that I was robbed of having my Dad in my life.

I have certainly felt that way at many times.

It’s Not Fair

There were plenty of “not-so-nice” Dads still on earth. Why did mine have to die when I was so young?

However, as I have gotten older, my perspective has changed. I no longer feel robbed. I am no longer angry. I now feel extremely grateful.

My Dad was an amazing person. He loved Jesus. He loved life. He loved his family. He had a servant’s heart. He was a great example of unconditional love.

Of course, I didn’t understand all of this at that time. I just loved him because he was my Dad, and he loved me.

Lingering Lessons

But, now that I am a parent, I realize how impactful those 14 short years were.

Even though we never had an adult conversation, he taught me everything I needed to know through his actions. And I am still learning from him as I remember how I watched him act in his everyday life.

How he….

  • Helped others without being asked
  • Paid attention to everyone
  • Made you feel special in his presence
  • Only used kind words
  • Was incredibly honest
  • Worked incredibly hard
  • Loved nature
  • Loved people

I continually try to live by the example that he set before me. I know I am incredibly lucky to have had such an awesome role model to look up to. I am learning to live a better story, and I am thankful that he was such a big part of mine.

Question: What parent lessons continue to resonate with you?

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EdiTOR’s Note: Our family recently delivered our third child. As such, some blogging buddies of mine have graciously offered to write a series of guest posts to allow my family to spend a little time together – away from this blog. I’m deeply grateful for such friends, and I hope you enjoy their writing!

Today’s guest post comes from Tammy Helfrich who’s a wife, mom, daughter and friend who writes about life, marriage, encouragement, and motivation. She blogs regularly at http://tammyhelfrich.wordpress.com/about/guestwelcome/

Filed Under: Faith, Family Tagged With: , , , ,
  • http://twitter.com/eternallizdom Eternal Lizdom

    I have something of an opposite experience. A lot of my parent lessons are more of the “I won’t do things that way because I see how it failed.” Not that my parents were neglectful or abusive- they try their best. But their best isn’t what I see as best- does that make sense?

    • tammyhelfrich

      Absolutely. I definitely think many of us feel that way. We try to do the best we can as a parent. It is definitely not easy!

    • http://www.thedailyretort.com/ TorConstantino

      Thanks EL, it makes perfect sense! I think we can learn the right and wrong ways of handling aspects of life from our parents – I appreciate the comment!

  • tammyhelfrich

    I’m so honored to be a guest on your blog, Tor! I hope you are enjoying life with your new addition. Thanks for letting me join in on the conversation!

  • http://www.eileenknowles.com Eileen

    Great post, Tammy. Your Dad sounds like an amazing man. Love how you said this, “However, as I have gotten older, my perspective has changed. I no longer feel robbed. I am no longer angry. I now feel extremely grateful.” So true! Lost my mom to cancer when I was a teen too. And just recently my dad suffered a stroke and not even sure he will ever regain mobility. I have learned so much and continue to learn so much from the legacy my parents have left.

    • tammyhelfrich

      Thanks, Eileen! It is so hard to lose our parents, and the perspective definitely comes with time. Sorry to hear about your Dad. I know it must be incredibly hard. I will be praying for all of you!

  • http://fibro2010.com Michelle Arbore

    How true. About 4 years ago, I almost lost my mom. I felt like I was loosing my best friend and I didn’t know how I was going to cope. Luckily, today she is fine and doing great. I keep telling everyone, you never know what you have until it’s almost taken away. I know going through something like that has made our relationship stronger and I appreciate her more, especially now because I have a 1 year old. I’ll do or say things and think I sound just like my mother. I am so glad she is hear to watch me raise my baby and get advice from her.

    • tammyhelfrich

      That is awesome that she is still with you. Being grandparents changes them too, I think. It is a treasure!

  • http://www.jackiebledsoe.com/ jbledsoejr

    Both my wife and I are blessed to still have both of our parents with us and in good health, and I have personal tried to make it a point to just appreciate the time and experiences we continue to get with them.

    One that resonates with me is the faithful and selfless nature of my mom…so gentle, but so strong.

    Great post! Thx for sharing Tammy!

    • tammyhelfrich

      Thanks! Definitely appreciate them while they are still with you.

  • Michelle Woodman

    What a great legacy your dad left, Tammy. That’s is, simply put, awesome. :)

    Even though I procrastinate like *crazy* at times, my parents have always modeled a fantastic work ethic. And they regularly took time away, just the two of them, when we were kids. Their lives weren’t so wrapped up in their roles as parents that they neglected their relationship in the process.

    • tammyhelfrich

      Thanks, Michelle! A good work ethic is so important. We are really trying to help our kids understand this in the age of so much entitlement thinking.

  • JulieJordanScott2

    I am grateful for Tammy’s post today… AND finding it via the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Its funny, my Dad was an active alcoholic (I should say actively DRUNK!) for most of my childhood. He has since been sober – for my entire adulthood – and he grew into the Dad I wished I had as a child. My children don’t know him as a drunk… and I am glad. Thanks for an evocative post for any parent.

    • tammyhelfrich

      Wow. That is powerful. I think the fact that you have shown mercy and grace to him is absolutely beautiful. And I’m so glad that you have a relationship with him. Kids need their grandparents!

  • http://deuceology.wordpress.com Larry Carter

    My mom had a nervous breakdown when I was in 7th grade. What I learned most was loyalty. She wasn’t the same and still isn’t 100%. But he is still with her.

    • tammyhelfrich

      Thanks, Larry. That had to have been very difficult. Loyalty is so important.

  • http://twitter.com/petermeadit Peter Mead IT

    Yeah, it makes me think about my mom and dad. Family really is important

    • tammyhelfrich

      Thanks, Peter!

  • http://www.adjuvancy.com/wordpress Roy A. Ackerman, Ph.D., E.A.

    Great post and great share. Proof that length has no bearing on breadth!

    • tammyhelfrich

      Thanks, Roy!

  • Roberta Budvietas

    Tammy nice to meet you and yes parents matter. And Tor – congratulations on the new baby.
    I miss my father and his impact on others was awesome too. Many people never realised how many people he helped until his funeral.

    • tammyhelfrich

      Thanks, Roberta!

  • http://smithellaneous.com/ Becky Smith

    Your dad sounds like an amazing guy and you sound pretty amazing yourself, as you have found the gold in the grief and focused your energies on how he impacted you so so greatly during your short time together. Very moving post.

    • tammyhelfrich

      Thanks, Becky!