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How Did I Get Here?

confusion

This is a guest post by Terrie Thorpe: author, blogger and writer of Christian Living articles.

Her books Am I Really Saved? Answering Questions of Christians and Footsteps of Jesus – Becoming a Disciple are geared toward new Christians and you can follow her on Twitter @TerrieThorpe.

If you’d like to write a guest post for The Daily ReTORt, check out the guidelines here.

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Ever woke up in a strange place – it can be a very frightening experience. Expecting the familiar and realizing the unfamiliar.

This feeling is common this time of year with people vacationing far from home, waking in a motel room, tents or even a relatives house. But what are you supposed to think if you wake up in your own home having these feelings that things are not right?

I’ve recently experienced this paradox, and it is not pleasant. It’s like a thief came in the middle of the night and stole everything important to me, but nothing was missing. My furniture was in place, no valuables gone, but something was missing. How do I report a theft when no material items were taken. How do I explain the emptiness I feel.

Just as any maturing Christian will tell you – if you’ve got problems go to God in prayer. So, there I was asking God what was wrong with me – why I felt so empty. Why things weren’t going right. Why I felt so anxious and angry. Why it seemed so long to get answers and some prayers – important ones weren’t getting attention.

I kept pouring out my heart, even questioning God and getting upset with Him for not appearing to care about my concerns. Then God spoke. Four little words that stopped me mid-complaint “Your faith is weak” I began to cry and ask for forgiveness for railing on the Lord.

Once I gathered myself and began to ponder what the Lord spoke to me – I couldn’t understand what He meant. How was my faith weak? How did it I get here?

For someone who absolutely loves the Lord with all her heart, constantly talks to the Lord, prays all the time, who has suffered for her faith – it set me back to realize my faith was weak.

So what do I do? I go to the Word of God. I began searching everything I could find on faith and what Jesus said about it. What I began to discover was I had been walking in my own strength, not acting on the truth I know inside in my born-again spirit.

It was my “Stinking Thinking” that got me into trouble.

I was caught up in the “total sovereignty of God” then “total faith” pendulum.

Total sovereignty of God gets me in trouble when I believe that God’s Will automatically comes to pass. That everything that happens to me is God’s Will. Scriptures are very clear here that God’s Will does not automatically come to pass. Re-read Exodus if you doubt that statement.

Total faith gets me into trouble when I believe if I do the right things, God will act on my behalf – right the wrongs and make things better. But He has already done that through Jesus.

I found myself in a hopeless, helpless cycle spiraling out of control and destroying my relationship with the Lord.

The Lord wasn’t my problem.

I discovered that there are things I must do and things the Lord has already done.

God has already given us “every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realm” (Ephesians 1:3) We already have every promise fulfilled in us, in Christ. We have our inheritance right now, God can’t give us anything more. We’ve just got to search the scriptures, believe the promises of God and begin to act like the sons and daughters of the King.

Everything we will ever need is in our born again spirit. We’ve got to renew our mind – not act like fearful slaves, begging scraps from the kings table.

As I begin this new journey in renewing my mind to the truth of who I am in Christ, becoming more aware of the tricks of the devil, believing the promises and getting it straight that “apart from Christ, I can do nothing” (John 15:5) I believe I am going to truly encounter the miracles and promises of God in a whole new way.

I hope you visit my blog Light for the Journey as I share my growing experiences.

 

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Comments

  1. Thank you Tor for hosting me. I hope my story will encourage your readers!

  2. Terrie – I cannot count the number of times I have found myself in need of a good renewing of the mind!
    Thanks for the reminder.

    • Thanks Jon for stopping by and commenting. I never realized that this was a continual thing-it was not until I was really losing it, that the Lord got my attention. I just love that He does that. But I have to admit that He had warned me of danger, but you know – I thought I had it all under control.

  3. Terrie I have on several occasions woken up and not been able to figure out what country I was in, that’s the life of a missionary! I love that 1st chapter of Ephesians too where it talks about all the blessings we have in Christ! Thanks for sharing your journey!

  4. Get out of my head. It’s like you’re reading my mind. Great post. Good choice Tor. I have found myself thanking God with one eye open bracing for the next hardship. That robs His blessing.

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