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Hilarious Words With Kids

Photo credit (Creative Commons: Tobyotter)

Humorist Art Linkletter is most well known for his popular broadcast program Kids Say the Darndest Things, which ran from the 1940s through the 1960s.

However, beyond merely saying the darndest things, sometimes kids DO the darndest things that have no existing description within the English language.

How do parents convey these unexplanable antics??? Enter Eric Ruhalter’s book The Kid Dictionary – hilarious words to describe the indescribable things kids do.

Ruhalter is a father of three rambunctious kids who helped inspire the book. While, I’ve not read his collection of idioms yet here are a few funny samples from the Amazon web site:

  • Wishjack: (WISH—jak) v: To blow out the candles on another child’s birthday cake.
  • Brofitti: (broh-FEE-tee) v: The act of scribbling with permanent marker on the face of a younger sibling.
  • Clandesdine: (klan-DES-dyne) v: To hide from one’s child while eating a cookie so he doesn’t ask for one too.

These genius examples inspired me to come up with a few of my own kid-defining phrases:

1. Kiddo-Ditto:  the unending sibling game of “will you stop copying me…”

2. Food-itude:  the attitude our daughters cop when dinner is something other than mac & cheese, pizza or grilled cheese.

3. Snow-Job-Description the creative embellishment our oldest daughter displays to get extra allowance money for her chores around the house (e.g. “Shouldn’t I get paid double for washing both sides of the dinner dishes???)

4. Ava-tardiness: the time lapse between when we tell our kids to shut off the popular Nicktoons animated show Avatar and when the TV is actually turned off.

5. Fashion-Shunning:  the silent treatment our youngest daughter gives when she’s not allowed to simultaneously wear fuchsia, sequins, zebra print and flip flops to school.

6. Toy-nado:  the path of playtime disarray after our kids’ typical whirlwind blitz through the toy bins in their playroom.

7. Mama-Insomnia: the prolonged series of requests for nighttime drinks, snacks, songs, stories…etc. our girls direct at  my wife to delay their inevitable bedtime.

8. Toothpaste-Tumors: the massive, abnormally shaped globs of toothpaste that cake our daughter’s bathroom sink, which manage to miss their respective toothbrushes and mouths somehow.

9. Street-Performer-Anxiety: the irrational dread I feel that our daughters will panhandle us after they perform one of their signature, impromptu, unscripted, combination Fashion-Puppet-Show-Dance-Routine-Sing-Song-Extravaganzas.

10. Car-Tunes-Torture: the excruciating auditory assault that parents endure on long trips listening to an unending stream of radio Disney teen singers.

Question: What parenting definitions can you add to this list?

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  1. Kim Constantino says:

    Hahaha, these are great! I especially like clandesDINE, I confess I’ve hidden many a treat or cookie from them..they always seem to ask me a question while my mouth is full of said cookie too! I know, the art of answering kid questions while trying to conceal a mouthful of cookie could be called, “MOMbling”.. you know, instead of mumbling.. ;)

  2. I think you forgot a few.
    Dyspopia- the unease felt by poppa when he finds his child learning things in school on a timetable different than he anticipated.
    Matriphonial- when your children mimic the expressions mom uses when she loses patience.
    Premature effluviation- Parental worries that children will tell tales (albeit true ones) to their peers and teachers in school.

  3. Hahaha…I like Toy-nado!! Those happen at our house frequently. Nice post!

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