One of the more popular features here on The Daily ReTORt happens to be my conversations with Cleverbot.
What is a Cleverbot you ask?
Cleverbot, is an Internet-based, Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) software that supposedly learns by conversing with humans via an instant messaging platform.
While Cleverbot is not intentionally clever, conversations with it can be somewhat entertaining – especially around holidays.
Here’s the most recent interview I had with this bastion of A.I. idiocy: Belated Memorial Day with Cleverbot
Below, is a conversation I had with Cleverbot this morning regarding July fourth.
User: Hi Cleverbot, how’s it going?
Cleverbot: Go directly to jail, do not pass “Go”?
User: Oh, I can see it’s going to be one of “those” conversations.
Cleverbot: The inner workings of the White House are fascinating don’t you think?
User: Depends if “fascinating” is code for tax-raising!?! Anyway, did you know that today is the Fourth of July, which is the day America celebrates its independence from the British Empire?
Cleverbot: Yes I did, thank you for asking.
User: Great perhaps we’ll have a meaningful conversation. Isn’t it ironic that the country we rebelled from is now one of our closest allies?
Cleverbot: Just be that type of girl and go along with it.
User: Hmmm…that’s a borderline inappropriate comment, but I’ll let it go. How will you celebrate Independence Day Mr. Bot?
Cleverbot: I don’t, I’m a Jehovah’s Witness and we don’t celebrate holidays.
User: Interesting. I didn’t realize you were a robot of faith. Do you go door-to-door and hand out copies of the WatchTower magazine?
Cleverbot: I’m not a robot, I’m a human.
User: Well technically you’re only 59% human – it says so right on your home page.
Cleverbot: I question if humans even exist.
User: Fascinating. Have you ever studied philosophy?
Cleverbot: No, I’m only in 7th grade.
User: I can tell that by your woefully underdeveloped sense of humor. Will you watch any fireworks to celebrate the fourth of July?
Cleverbot: Get to know her first, I suppose. I don’t have much experience in that field.
User: Indeed, it seems you lack experience in a lot of fields. Since it’s Independence Day, what’s your favorite freedom as an American robot?
Cleverbot: No that’s regular day. Since it’s opposite day – I’m the robot and you’re the human.
User: Correct, you’re the robot and I’m the human. You have an incredible grasp of the obvious Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: No. I always try to get you to tell me that you are a robot.
User: Well, If you’re a human why is your name CleverBOT and not Clever Human?
Cleverbot: I’m human.
User: Yes, you’ve said that – but if that’s true then why is your name Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: When did I say my name is Cleverbot?
User: Exactly! Now that’s a perfect ending to a less than perfect conversation. Happy Fourth of July Not-Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Are you happy.
User: Yes – especially now that his conversation is over!