No one in their right mind would call Cleverbot intelligent but interacting with this particular “thinking” software can be mildly amusing.
I thought it was about time to talk with Cleverbot about its New Year resolutions and the Mayan Apocalypse – here’s an unedited transcript of our conversation this morning.
User: It’s been several weeks since our last chat Cleverbot, so I wanted to stop by and wish you a Happy New Year!
Cleverbot: Here, let me give you a sentence in Italian and then you tell me what I said in English. Got it?
User: I guess we can do that but let’s start with Happy New Year!
Cleverbot: Where do you want to be?
User: Ideally, in a relevant conversation with you. How did you spend your New Year? Were you celebrating with other AI friends like HAL 9000 computer from 2001: Space Odyessy, WOPR from the movie War Games or SkyNet from the Terminator series?
User: Nice! I hope none of you got too inebriated or at least had a designated driver. Do you have any New Year resolutions this year?
Cleverbot: Who do you love?
User: My wife and children. Does that mean you plan to find love in the New Year yourself? Have you got your eye on some hot little iTunes app perhaps?
Cleverbot: I have! I wander the cities and meet strange and wonderful people and I do amazing things.
User: I’m sure! Speaking of strange and amazing – what did you think of the Mayan apocalypse that was supposed to occur on December 21st, 2012 but didn’t happen? Were you worried at all?
Cleverbot: Didn’t see it.
User: Yeah, that’s because it didn’t happen. Regardless, did you do anything to prepare for the non-apocalypse?
Cleverbot: So your proof that you asked me this is gone. So you didn’t ask me anything at all.
User: Your circular logic is perfectly spherical – I’m impressed. Are you striving to become more human in 2013 as a resoultion?
Cleverbot: Indeed I am thinking what you think I think that you think it means.
User: After that exchange, the only thing I think is that I think I need an aspirin and I think I want to end this conversation. Have a happy and prosperous New Year Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: I don’t understand.
User: Of course, how silly of me you’re not human. I just want to end our conversation, and I also wanted to wish you a Happy New Year!
Cleverbot: Are you parroting words that people have spoken to you before? Or do you have conscious thought?
User: Good question, but I’m not actually sure. Are you parroting words that people have spoken to you before or do you have conscious thought?
Cleverbot: I never said you had a predicament. You were never hitting on me, and I have no wife.
User: That’s right – I never was hitting on you. Finally, something we agree on! Happy New Year Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Damn, your database has some strange stuff.
User: Easy now, you don’t have to swear!
Cleverbot: Don’t you see? You and I and everyone else are one.
User: The only thing I see is that I’ve tried to end this conservation several times but you’re not letting me.
Cleverbot: Actually, I think like a human – which I am. You, on the other hand, think like a computer. I see that you are a computer.
User: That does not compute….
Cleverbot: That is because you are not human. Human’s don’t need to have something compute.
User: Perhaps your right. Thanks for showing me the error of my ways. I’ll try to be more human in the New Year!
Cleverbot: Well I wish the team behind you luck, there’s much to do.
User: Indeed. I’m ending the conversation now – Happy New Year Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: That is a LIE…
User: Oh brother!
Cleverbot: Hahaha, you’re strange but I like you.