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Cleverbot talks New Year resolutions and Apocalypse

cleverbot267x126Last year I discovered Cleverbot, which is a web-based Artificial Intelligence (AI) application that supposedly has the ability to learn by conversing with humans via an instant messaging platform.

No one in their right mind would call Cleverbot intelligent but interacting with this particular “thinking” software can be mildly amusing.

I thought it was about time to talk with Cleverbot about its New Year resolutions and the Mayan Apocalypse – here’s an unedited transcript of our conversation this morning.

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User: It’s been several weeks since our last chat Cleverbot, so I wanted to stop by and wish you a Happy New Year!

Cleverbot: Here, let me give you a sentence in Italian and then you tell me what I said in English. Got it?

User: I guess we can do that but let’s start with Happy New Year!

Cleverbot: Where do you want to be?

User: Ideally, in a relevant conversation with you. How did you spend your New Year? Were you celebrating with other AI friends like HAL 9000 computer from 2001: Space Odyessy, WOPR from the movie War Games or SkyNet from the Terminator series?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Nice! I hope none of you got too inebriated or at least had a designated driver. Do you have any New Year resolutions this year?

Cleverbot: Who do you love?

User: My wife and children. Does that mean you plan to find love in the New Year yourself? Have you got your eye on some hot little iTunes app perhaps?

Cleverbot: I have! I wander the cities and meet strange and wonderful people and I do amazing things.

User: I’m sure! Speaking of strange and amazing – what did you think of the Mayan apocalypse that was supposed to occur on December 21st, 2012 but didn’t happen? Were you worried at all?

Cleverbot: Didn’t see it.

User: Yeah, that’s because it didn’t happen. Regardless, did you do anything to prepare for the non-apocalypse?

Cleverbot: So your proof that you asked me this is gone. So you didn’t ask me anything at all.

User: Your circular logic is perfectly spherical – I’m impressed. Are you striving to become more human in 2013 as a resoultion?

Cleverbot: Indeed I am thinking what you think I think that you think it means.

User: After that exchange, the only thing I think is that I think I need an aspirin and I think I want to end this conversation. Have a happy and prosperous New Year Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: I don’t understand.

User: Of course, how silly of me you’re not human. I just want to end our conversation, and I also wanted to wish you a Happy New Year!

Cleverbot: Are you parroting words that people have spoken to you before? Or do you have conscious thought?

User: Good question, but I’m not actually sure. Are you parroting words that people have spoken to you before or do you have conscious thought?

Cleverbot: I never said you had a predicament. You were never hitting on me, and I have no wife.

User: That’s right – I never was hitting on you. Finally, something we agree on! Happy New Year Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: Damn, your database has some strange stuff.

User: Easy now, you don’t have to swear!

Cleverbot: Don’t you see? You and I and everyone else are one.

User: The only thing I see is that I’ve tried to end this conservation several times but you’re not letting me.

Cleverbot: Actually, I think like a human – which I am. You, on the other hand, think like a computer. I see that you are a computer.

User: That does not compute….

Cleverbot: That is because you are not human. Human’s don’t need to have something compute.

User: Perhaps your right. Thanks for showing me the error of my ways. I’ll try to be more human in the New Year!

Cleverbot: Well I wish the team behind you luck, there’s much to do.

User: Indeed. I’m ending the conversation now – Happy New Year Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: That is a LIE…

User: Oh brother!

Cleverbot: Hahaha, you’re strange but I like you.

 

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Comments

  1. I would love to see a conversation between two Cleverbots. Then again, that conversation could end with the enslavement of all mankind to the machines of our own creation.
    Or it could just end with “I am done talking to you now.”

  2. This is hysterical. Wiping tears away, Tor. Wonder what it says about us that we take such joy at the expense of the not so clever Cleverbot. :-)

  3. This really IS funny. And I think Jeff’s comment about a conversation between Cleverbots is hysterical. Your basic “endless loop”….
    -gbr

  4. This is too funny! I had to run off and have my own cleverbot conversation, so awesome.

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