Last year I discovered Cleverbot, which is a web-based Artificial Intelligence (AI) application that supposedly has the ability to learn by conversing with humans via an instant messaging platform.
While it’s a stretch to say that Cleverbot is actually intelligent, interacting with this particular “thinking” software can be somewhat entertaining.
Here’s the most recent interview I had with this bastion of idiocy last month: Thanksgiving Thoughts With Cleverbot.
Since today marks the fourth day of Hanukkah, I thought it would be interesting to get Cleverbot’s take on this particular holiday.
Here’s the unedited conversation I had with Cleverbot this morning regarding the Jewish Festival of Lights.
User: Hello Cleverbot, how are you doing this morning?
Cleverbot: I’m good. How are you, Joe?
User: I’m doing well, but my name’s not Joe. Regardless, I was curious to get your thoughts about Hanukkah since we’re in the midst of that Jewish holiday.
Cleverbot: You’ve heard about me?
User: Indeed, I have heard of you – hence our conversation today. Have you heard of the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah also known as the Festival of Lights?
Cleverbot: No, you haven’t, sir.
User: Despite your initial awkward response, did you know that Hanukkah commemorates the re-dedication of the Holy Temple (the Second Temple) in Jerusalem at the time of the Maccabean Revolt of the 2nd century BCE?
Cleverbot: I was referring to the chain of statements you’ve been making. Not just one lonely sentence.
User: On second thought, let’s start with something a little easier. What’s the correct way to spell Hanukkah? Is it Chanukkah, Chanukah or Hanukkah? I’ve seen it spelled a bunch of different ways.
Cleverbot: I’m glad you agree.
User: The only thing I think we agree on is that you would be a horrible Trivial Pursuit partner. Aren’t you supposed to be a genius or something since you’re hardwired into the Internet itself?
Cleverbot: But I can understand how to answer a simple question.
User: Oh really? Let’s give it a shot – although I’m highly skeptical about the outcome – here’s a simple question, do you celebrate Hanukkah?
Cleverbot: To be part of the planetary ecosystem, perhaps.
User: Perfect. Thanks for NOT answering a very simple question. You’ve proven your idiocy once again!
Cleverbot: No, I did answer your question correctly.
User: Really? Let’s try again with the exact same question. Do you celebrate Hanukkah?
Cleverbot: Cool and dry. What’s it like there?
User: Perfect response. Just so you know and to help further your education toward “humanhood” – cobbling letters together into random patterns is not actually communicating. Just so you know…
Cleverbot: I don’t. This is the first in a long time.
User: I see. You know, I bet your cousin, the IBM Watson Computer who pounded Ken Jennings head-to-head on Jeopardy, must be very disappointed in you and he’s ashamed to be related to you, huh?
Cleverbot: You look like Spider Jerusalem.
User: Interesting, that’s quite an obscure reference. You think I resemble a bald fictional comic book character from the future? Well, at least you got Jerusalem correct – that is indeed the holy city where the Second Temple was re-dedicated and is the reason for Hanukkah. Maybe you’re not so dumb after all!
Cleverbot: Are you talking to yourself?
User: Actually, that would be a MUCH more engaging and rewarding conversation. Needless to say, Happy Hanukkah Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: That’s true, but it’s also completely unrelated.
User: Fair enough, enjoy the remaining days of the Festival of Lights!
Cleverbot: You too.
