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Holiday Edition: $5.37 “Caption This” Photo Contest

It's another installment of the lowest-cash-award-for-a-photo-caption-contest on the Internet, the $5.37 Caption This Contest! Today's picture features the jolly old elf himself, but we have some business to attend to first. Thanks to everyone who entered the most recent iteration of the contest  last week. The winning caption is below. Congratulations to the victor - Bryan – who can message me at Facebook or on Twitter with an appropriate email address. That will allow me to … [Read more...]

Celebrating Hanukkah With Cleverbot….

Last year I discovered Cleverbot, which is a web-based Artificial Intelligence (AI) application that supposedly has the ability to learn by conversing with humans via an instant messaging platform. While it’s a stretch to say that Cleverbot is actually intelligent, interacting with this particular "thinking" software can be somewhat entertaining. Here’s the most recent interview I had with this bastion of idiocy last month: Thanksgiving Thoughts With Cleverbot.  Since today marks the … [Read more...]

Top-10 List: Holiday Christmas Specials

I'm amazed at all of the holiday specials that are playing and replaying this time of year. Growing up during the 1970s with only three TV networks, holiday specials were truly "special." My fondest memories of those days were the "Animagic" Christmas specials produced by Arthur Rankin and Jules Bass. You know the stop-motion classics about Rudolph, Heat Miser, the Winter Warlock...etc. Now, ABC Family Channel's 25 Days of Christmas is running those specials wall-to-wall, decked … [Read more...]

The Church of the Future

Today's guest post comes courtesy of a very witty writing buddy, Bryan Logan. Check out his blog HERE and his entertaining post below. If you'd like to submit a guest post for The Daily ReTORt you can see the guidelines HERE. ================== If you traveled back in time and told your grandparents what the churches of today are like, they wouldn't have believed you. More importantly, you could probably use time travel to do more important things, but that's a different post. So … [Read more...]

Open Letter to the Makers of Elf on the Shelf

To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for creating the Elf on the Shelf franchise of books, cookies, plush dolls, DVDs...etc. which enable parents such as my wife and me the privilege of paying $29.95 to deceive our children. The Story of the Elf As you well know, your fabricated story of the Elf asserts that he/she appears in the child's home between Thanksgiving and Christmas as a behavioral scout for Saint Nick, to keep an eagle eye on the children for the "naughty and nice" list. The Elf … [Read more...]

Black Friday Blues

Periodically, I create these mini-videos that look at funny issues a married couple experience. This one (episode #11) deals with the annual ritual of spending money on the busiest shopping day of the year - Black Friday. The links to other episodes I've made about moments in married life follow the video below.   Question: What's your Black Friday philosophy - economic Nirvana or avoid it like the Black Plague? Dinner Debate: Wedded Blisster Series - Part 10 Pet … [Read more...]

Thanksgiving Thoughts With Cleverbot

These conversations with Cleverbot  are some of my most popular posts. This is re-post from last Thanksgiving. Several months ago I discovered Cleverbot, which is a web-based Artificial Intelligence (AI) application that supposedly has the ability to learn by conversing with humans via an instant messaging platform. While it’s a stretch to say that Cleverbot is actually intelligent, interacting with this particular "thinking" software can be mildly entertaining. Here’s the most recent … [Read more...]

The $5.37 “Caption This” Photo Contest: Vol. 14

It's another installment of the lowest-cash-award-for-a-photo-caption-contest on the Internet, the $5.37 Caption This Contest! Thanks to everyone who entered the most recent iteration of the contest  last week. The winner of last week's iteration was Melinda Todd with her geniusly pithy and funny caption below. Congratulations to the victor – who can message me at Facebook or on Twitter with an appropriate email address. That will allow me to send the incredibly confounding $5.37 … [Read more...]

The Economics of Candy Trading

I've written about the best and worst candies before - been there, done that. But I'm in awe of this geniusly-funny satirical look at candy trading in the aftermath of Halloween, which spoofs classic economic theory as a way to maximize your confection capital. It was the funniest three minutes of my past week, and my funny bone is indebted to my friend Esther Buzzell for sharing this video - you won't be disappointed! Question: How long will you keep Halloween candy in your house? … [Read more...]

The $5.37 “Caption This” Contest: Vol. 13

It's another installment of the lowest-cash-award-for-a-photo-caption-contest on the Internet, the $5.37 Caption This Contest! Thanks to everyone who entered the most recent iteration of the contest  last week. Regrettably, there were two laugh-out-loud standouts that I couldn't choose between. The deciding factor was when I saw the "Mayhem" Allstate Insurance commercial again this weekend which inspired Jamie Kocur's winning caption. Check out the "Mayhem" video HERE as a reminder and … [Read more...]