An Ethical Condiment Conundrum….

New "Dip & Squeeze" vs old "foil" packet - image courtesy of Heinz, Inc.

I’m not going to lie about it.

I may have a borderline addiction with certain types of food condiments. My most serious predilection is with Frank’s RedHot, so much so, that my mother-in-law-to-be ensured that there were bottles of the spicy red ambrosia on the head table when I wedded my wife – I knew I married into the right family!

The next orbit of my condiment love comprises: A1 Steak Sauce, Famous Dave’s Georgia Mustard and French’s Worcestershire Sauce.

This is a triumvirate of tasty sauces that are all on equal par within the constellation of my culinary curiosities.

After these four condiments, my next closest choice is Heinz’s Ketchup – while not the top of the heap it is still a fine topping option nonetheless.

Specifically, I’m a huge fan of Heinz’s new “Dip & Squeeze” (D&S) packet [see photo insert, left side] that’s available at certain eateries such as Chick-fil-A, which is the genesis of this post.

While I enjoy a full-flavored ketchup on a variety of foods as much as the next guy (possibly more so), I loathe the traditional, anemic foil packets of the stuff [see photo insert, right side] which have micro-metrics of actual ketchup and are tougher to open than a Fisher Price toy on Christmas morning while wearing mittens.

So, whenever we patronize a progressive dining establishment that stocks the Heinz D&S packets, I politely ask for extras. Once our meal is finished I’ll pocket the extras, save them and use them at a different diner or bistro that’s still stuck in the foil-packet Dark Ages.

Here’s the issue, my wife alleges that I’m stealing the extra D&S condiment packets, but I disagree on the following grounds:

1. I’ve asked for the extra packets and they’ve been freely given to me by an authorized restaurant agent – no coercion was involved.

2. The stores where I solicit free samples of extra D&S packets do not have any visible signage requiring all food stuffs be consumed on the premises.

3. The only other option for the extra D&S condiment packs I didn’t use would be to throw them away – which is anti-environment and would needlessly fill up our nation’s finite landfill space.

Based on these facts, my wife and I had a fairly lively debate this past weekend on this very issue and we reached an impasse that requires more cogitation than either of us can mustard….I mean, muster.

Question: I ask you, am I stealing condiments from restaurants?

Filed Under: Funny

http://randomlychad.com Chad Jones

Tor, you take your life into your hands disagreeing with a pregnant woman. Just sayin’.

FTR, honey mustard is my go-to at Chick-fil-A; that, and Ranch.
- TorConstantino
  
  No doubt, the maternal-hormonal-bath is nothing to mess with but we still live in a country where free speech is a unalienable right. And my right to free access of red packetized delicious won’t be denied…
http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Sachs/203802439 Amanda Sachs

I just saw the dip and squeeze packets for sale at the grocery store yesterday. Problem Solved!!
- TorConstantino
  
  Argh! That makes the problem even worse – why pay for the product when free samples are available at fine eateries??? This is vexing
  - http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Sachs/203802439 Amanda Sachs
    
    This is true! I didn’t think about that. Welp… I wouldn’t consider it stealing. I keep all sorts of packets in my desk at work. Especially the Chick-fil-A flavors. They are the grown-up toy of the value meals!
Rebecca

I side with you on this subject, Tor. Mostly because were I to disagree, I would have to admit that all the mixed berry jellies I pocket at the few and far between diners that still seem to carry them would be thievery. I prefer to think of it the same way you do. They set them on the table for use on my toast. I manage to use one on all four little triangles and if there happens to be another in that little jelly caddy…. in my purse it goes. I figure most people use two on average, so I am sure they have figured the cost into my bill. Very few restaurants seem to carry the best and most elusive jelly ever so, like you, I prefer to be prepared for the worst and have some on me at all times.
- TorConstantino
  
  Indeed Rebecca, preparation is the key – who knows when you might be stranded in a winter squall and those jelly packets are the only sustenance at the ready.
http://www.bluebridgecomm.com/ Joel Fortner

The best way to answer this conundrum is to answer this. Would you pocket them with the propietor or manager watching you? I, for example, would not as my stress levels would climb as if I was just about to steal the chair I was sitting in. But if you could, you’re a boss and you deserve the ketchup.
- TorConstantino
  
  So I can’t take the chairs either? That’s a bummer…cuz I was only one more away from having enough to have Canasta night at my house.
http://www.hermitofbardstown.com Stephen Taylor

You are not stealing. You use them. If the places thought you were taking too many they would stop you. And yes, they do throw them out. People do not realize how much food is discarded before it ever leaves processing plants. Beef, pork, badly shaped tomatoes, potatoes, you name it, it’s outta there, all because we must, just must, have “perfect food.”
- TorConstantino
  
  That’s why I like you so much Stephen – you’re a voice of reason (that supports my bad behavior
Tink4everbell

If they didn’t want u taking them, then they should put them behind the counter where u can’t reach them or charge like mc Donald’s does for theirs although it depends on whos working because sometimes they charge & but for the most part they dont. Chick fil a is the only joint around me that even has then available to take so maybe they want u to keep taking extras cause the rest if the places keep it behind the counter.
- TorConstantino
  
  Great points Tink – thanks for sharing them!!!
http://www.kesacollections.blogspot.com KESA Collections

I believe if you take one or two that is acceptable. The way I see it, is in all honesty you paid for it. How? The company/owner is aware of “your type” of customer and the packets are formulated in the cost of the food you purchased.
- TorConstantino
  
  Awesome comment !
http://www.facebook.com/nicolebandes Nicole Bandes

Quite the conundrum! While I wouldn’t say it was technically stealing, it might be bordering on slightly immoral. But then, that even assumes that most people would say it was wrong and I’m not sure I’d even go that far.
- TorConstantino
  
  Spoken like a diplomat! You have a career in politics ahead of you
http://perichoreticlife.blogspot.com/ Michael

I’m going to side with your wife.

I never ask for more than I know I will need. If I really need another one, I can always go back.
- TorConstantino
  
  Argh! Thanks for REALLY making me feel guilty
Bonnie Anderson

I was going to suggest that you give it the “grandmother test,” which is simply would you take the extra packets if Grandma was with you? That was always a good way to keep my kids in line. Perhaps you should go on line and order a supply for yourself – avoid the appearance of evil.
- TorConstantino
  
  Apparently you never had lunch with my grandmother. She turned dining out into a de facto “Trick or Treat” loading that old lady handbag of hers chock full of Splenda, pats of butter and napkins…..
http://www.amethystmahoney.com/ Amethyst Mahoney

Your rationalization knows no bounds.

Yes, you are given the extra packets freely, but you are asking for them with the express intent to get more than you currently need and take them away from said premises. Had you not asked for the extra (which you know you aren’t using at the moment), your “environmental” argument (point 3) would be completely moot.

As it is, I would suggest not worrying about it. If it bothers you too much, just ask for extra packets AND tell the person that you really don’t need them now, but you might want to use some later. Tell them you plan to smuggle them into your local burger joint because their ketchup is inferior! I suggest standing on the chair and wearing a giant hat whilst making this particular speech, just to prove how important it is to you. If they still bring you the extra, feel free to take them ~ sans guilt!
http://www.ramblingbarba.com Ken Hagerman

I have it. postpone your next condiment heist until the baby is born. Buy and order of fries for the baby with extra ketchup. You can’t help it if the baby doesn’t finish the plate of food.
Gwen Cary

Do you ever go to the restaurant specifically because you are expecting to stock up on ketchup? (or did that weigh in your decision?) If yes, then you can take all they will give you. The extra condiment is what brought the restaurant your business.