I’m not going to lie about it.
I may have a borderline addiction with certain types of food condiments. My most serious predilection is with Frank’s RedHot, so much so, that my mother-in-law-to-be ensured that there were bottles of the spicy red ambrosia on the head table when I wedded my wife – I knew I married into the right family!
The next orbit of my condiment love comprises: A1 Steak Sauce, Famous Dave’s Georgia Mustard and French’s Worcestershire Sauce.
This is a triumvirate of tasty sauces that are all on equal par within the constellation of my culinary curiosities.
After these four condiments, my next closest choice is Heinz’s Ketchup – while not the top of the heap it is still a fine topping option nonetheless.
Specifically, I’m a huge fan of Heinz’s new “Dip & Squeeze” (D&S) packet [see photo insert, left side] that’s available at certain eateries such as Chick-fil-A, which is the genesis of this post.
While I enjoy a full-flavored ketchup on a variety of foods as much as the next guy (possibly more so), I loathe the traditional, anemic foil packets of the stuff [see photo insert, right side] which have micro-metrics of actual ketchup and are tougher to open than a Fisher Price toy on Christmas morning while wearing mittens.
So, whenever we patronize a progressive dining establishment that stocks the Heinz D&S packets, I politely ask for extras. Once our meal is finished I’ll pocket the extras, save them and use them at a different diner or bistro that’s still stuck in the foil-packet Dark Ages.
Here’s the issue, my wife alleges that I’m stealing the extra D&S condiment packets, but I disagree on the following grounds:
1. I’ve asked for the extra packets and they’ve been freely given to me by an authorized restaurant agent – no coercion was involved.
2. The stores where I solicit free samples of extra D&S packets do not have any visible signage requiring all food stuffs be consumed on the premises.
3. The only other option for the extra D&S condiment packs I didn’t use would be to throw them away – which is anti-environment and would needlessly fill up our nation’s finite landfill space.
Based on these facts, my wife and I had a fairly lively debate this past weekend on this very issue and we reached an impasse that requires more cogitation than either of us can mustard….I mean, muster.
Question: I ask you, am I stealing condiments from restaurants?