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4 Tips to Beat the Honey Do List

Photo Credit: Creative Commons - Jacob Aaron

Photo Credit: Creative Commons – Jacob Aaron

Here’s a guest post from a great writer, Marie Ortiz, who’s a part-time staff writer for www.DIYMother.org and a full time social media manager.

She is a mother to two beautiful girls and enjoys teaching them and watching them grow.

She loves to share her findings along the way.

If you’d like to write a guest post for The Daily ReTORt, check out the guidelines here:


My husband and I have been married for ten years and together, we made and raised two beautiful girls. Now that our girls are older, they hang out with us less.

Our weekends now involve projects I’ve dreamed up, or errands I need to run. Most of the time, I want my husband’s help; to be frank, I miss having company during menial shopping trips.

He’s been a wonderful father and a loving husband, but over the past couple of years, I’ve begun to pick up on some of his go-to aversion techniques when he’s off work.

He reminds me of George Costanza from Seinfeld [see video clip below]. He has completely mastered how to appear busy when he’s not actually doing anything.

I’ve come to accept it as one of his amusing quirks. And since I’ve figured out his maneuvers, it’s something we laugh about. Because now, he always has something to do.

It takes a considerable amount of effort to pretend to be doing something. Here are 4 ways you can pretend to be busy: at work, school, or wherever you choose to avoid doing work. I learned them all from my husband.


We’ve all resorted to “texting” someone when we’re in an awkward situation. Sometimes we even do it while waiting for coffee or food at a restaurant.

Nowadays, not only does we have our phones—we have tablets and personal laptops. That’s three ways to pretend like you’re busy doing something. Add in some headphones or ear buds, and you can’t even hear a request.

Keep a few tabs open while you’re using your device. That way, if your boss or wife comes near, you can quickly switch from Netflix to a more relevant research topic on Wikipedia.

Sleep, or Lack Of

My husband is either sleeping, or complaining about not getting enough of it. In the first few years of marriage, I felt sympathetic because he had a very physical job. After having two kids, however, sleep is an afterthought.

Men can sleep anywhere, through anything. When my girls are upstairs running around or screaming at the top of their lungs, he manages to sleep right through it. I’m pretty sure he slept through a home renovation.


Some people just know when to not be present. It’s like a sixth sense…they can smell when someone might need their assistance. That’s the ideal time to use the restroom or go outside to get some fresh air.

Elusiveness is a powerful quality to perfect. If you do learn it, you can be able to be in a room undetected and gone without anyone knowing you left.

“To-Don’t” Lists

Anytime I ask my husband what he’s doing, he always gives me a list of duties on his agenda. Does he ever do any of these tasks? No. But by letting me know that he’ll potentially be wrapped up, he won’t have to go grocery shopping with me.

Question: What other tips help you beat the weekend Honey Do list?


  • http://www.adjuvancy.com/wordpress Roy A. Ackerman, Ph.D., E.A.

    Of course, it’s even easier if one disappears early in the day, sending periodic texts of “on to the next chore…”

    • http://www.thedailyretort.com/ TorConstantino

      Love it – simple yet effective! I appreciate the visit Roy!

  • http://www.facebook.com/sandi.tuttle Sandi Tuttle

    ROFL! Re-posting!

    • http://www.thedailyretort.com/ TorConstantino

      Agreed Sandi – Marie did a great job on this! Thanks for stopping by!

  • HeidiK

    Love “elusiveness” although it typically applies to my daughters. It is amazing how “nature” always calls the minute I ask someone to unload the dishwasher!

    • http://www.thedailyretort.com/ TorConstantino

      Hah, I love the addition of a “bio break” – consider it added to the list! Thanks for the comment Heidi!

  • http://simplystatedbusiness.com Cathy Miller

    Very funny! I used to marvel at the amount of effort needed by coworkers from my corporate days who also mastered the art of looking busy. Some pulled out calculators and let their fingers fly in speeds I knew were too quick for accuracy.

    Of course, PCs were always a nice front for “looking busy.” Marie is right that advancing technology has taken it to a whole new level.

    Then there were those who actually faked being on a phone call. I wonder what tactics those coworkers used in their home life. :-)

    • http://www.thedailyretort.com/ TorConstantino

      Indeed, Cathy! Regrettably I’d love to reply to your comment but it seems I’m too busy feverishly trying to concoct other ways to avoid work right now ;-)

  • The Great Gordino

    These made me laugh! So much so that I opened up a text document to jot the ideas down ‘for reference’!

    • http://www.thedailyretort.com/ TorConstantino

      I know, we can’t afford to let gems like these slip through our anti-work-on-weekend fingers….

  • http://harrisonjonathan.wordpress.com/ Jonathan Harrison

    About the “to Don’t” lists – Having a memorized list to regurgitate on command is great, but you also have to “sell” it.

    I try not to breathe as I recite my list, it really adds credibility.

    • http://www.thedailyretort.com/ TorConstantino

      Nice! I wholeheartedly agree that breathing is a sign of weakness and vulnerability that virtually guarantees an afternoon of roof gutter cleaning….

  • Toni Nelson

    I like that you incorporated the video into the post!

  • theromanticvineyard

    Great post, Marie.

  • http://twitter.com/TheFurMom Kimberly Gauthier

    Making work hours for my blogging and cleaning during the week. I don’t want to spend our weekends cleaning and doing yardwork, but with 3 dogs, 2 cats, and 5 acres, it’s kind of unavoidable. But we do a lot of work during the week so that our weekends have more time for fun.

  • Carolina HeartStrings

    Haha, well I’m usually the one giving out the list, not avoiding it. To help getting the being-avoided treatment I try to keep the list short and specific.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bruce-Rodgers/1068318674 Bruce Rodgers

    This is great!