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3 Expectations Parents Should Have for Kids

Our Daughters 2011

I’ve always been a believer in the idea that your reach should exceed your grasp. In other words, bite off more than you can comfortably chew.

I believe in setting high expectations and goals.

Of course that type of thinking is out of vogue especially for kids these days with their fragile self esteem; “gradeless” report cards that are now based on effort rather than competency and bedroom shelves stacked with trophies and ribbons they didn’t earn but were given for just signing up.

We expect more from our daughters, and we want them to expect more from themselves.

Everyday before we part ways to go to school and work respectively, I challenge them to do the following for the day.

“Be a genius. Make good decisions. Be responsible.”

Over the years, my wife and I have honed this mantra down to the core expectations encapsulated within each phrase.

Be a Genius

This phrase doesn’t only focus on mental brain power. While they may never achieve an Albert Einstein IQ, it is possible that they may.

Beyond that, we want our kids to be the best they can be – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Challenging them to be a “genius” for the day in all of those areas is more likely to draw out their best effort, fostering a lifelong habit of excellence.

Make Good Decisions

Personally, I believe this is the single most important skill that children need to develop. Sometime in the future, our girls are going to be on their own and will have to make decisions that affect their lives or the lives of others.

Whether its accepting a job, blowing off a test, getting in a car with drunk teenagers or being pressured to sleep with someone in their college dorm – we want them to be able to make the right decisions in those instances.

If they practice making the correct decisions now with the little things of life, they will be better prepared to make the correct decisions regarding the big things as well.

Be Responsible

This expectation naturally follows the decisions they make. Regardless of the decisions and outcomes, we want our children to “own” those results. That’s a large part of growing up and maturity.

To often in this day and age, politicians and business executives resort to the blame game of others for the bad decisions they themselves make. That’s wrong and it stinks.

Accountability is very  important  to my wife and I – we want it to be important to our children as well.

These may not be perfect or even applicable to the sensibilities of some parents, but we believe that expecting more from our kids is better than less.

Question: What expectations do you have for your kids or grand children?

  • http://shipboundfortarshish.wordpress.com/ Bonnie Anderson

    Preach it, Tor. Great post.

    • http://www.thedailyretort.com/ TorConstantino

      Aw shucks, thanks Bonnie!

  • Carolina HeartStrings

    I agree with you that the making good decisions is THE most important. That will lead to being responsible too. AND we need to set examples of good decision making. I always take the opportunity (hopefully without being overbearing/boring) to point out good decision (and bad) that others have made in personal, financial or other areas. Good post. Your children are lucky.

    • http://www.thedailyretort.com/ TorConstantino

      Thanks for the kind words Carolina and for taking the time to comment!

  • Tracey

    Agreed

  • http://deuceology.wordpress.com Larry Carter

    I love the scene from the Freaky Friday remake where Jamie Lee Curtis tells Lindsey Lohan to make good choices. I don’t think she listened.

    • http://www.thedailyretort.com/ TorConstantino

      Hah! Agreed thanks for stopping by Deuce!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001063281089 Nancy Rose

    What a wonderful parent you are in expecting the best from them. They will understand this is a natural occurrence and exceed in all things and be comfortable doing their best.

  • http://randomlychad.com Chad Jones

    I’ve been thinking along these lines myself, and have been wondering that perhaps because I may not be living a compelling story myself, my son is needlessly struggling with some things. I need to invite him into a better story.

    Thanks, Tor! I’m going to conscript your principles for use with my “littles.”

  • Sarah Bens

    I definitely have very high expectations for my children. Although, I also believe that kids will rise to meet those expectations. If the expectations are low, they don’t have to rise very far, therefore wont get very far in life.

  • http://www.adjuvancy.com/wordpress Roy A. Ackerman, Ph.D., E.A.

    Be better today than you were yesterday- and no excuses will do…